After Diplomacy

Family dinner tonight included a discussion on nonviolent homeowners' association resistance. After carrying stuff 100 yards from my car to a friend's home yesterday (thanks to their HOA's lovely parking regulations), I counted my lucky stars that I don't live under such a regime. I feel a great moral obligation to assist those who do. Tactics we considered:

• painting HOA board members' homes restricted colors
• moving HOA buffs' cars into restricted areas
• holding a celebration in honor of the HOA president, using fireworks, extremely large vehicles, a superfluously loud live band, giant posters of the president's face, etc. Basically break as many by-laws as possible.

Of course, these measures are not to be employed until after diplomacy proves fruitless.


Today, President Obama spoke at a VFW convention in Phoenix. VFW stands for Veterans of Foreign Wars. I wonder why this otherwise admirable group chose to exclude Civil War heroes. Like Matthew Broderick:


When I take naps, I have freaky dreams:



I woke up and scribbled the following:

"just woke up from a nap. dreamt i was working at a government anti-terrorist agency. as a missionary i used work with was there, wearing an orange prison-style jumpsuit. secretaries gates & clinton were present.

"it appeared to be in a small, two-story office complex in scottsdale, occupying an inner corner of strip mall's parking lot. i was running around frantically trying to a find a bomb in inside an enormous shipment of boxes in the middle of the room"

Now. What does this dream mean? And why would Secretaries Gates & Clinton be there in lieu of Napolitano, whose jurisdiction such a facility would be in? Hmmmmmmmmmm.

I've considered many interpretations, and I've decided on one: Join CSTU. The best way to evade the Counter Social Terrorist Unit is to join it. It's a little bit Robert Hanssenish (see the film "Breach"). Read my previous posts for a better understanding of social terrorism. It's NOT real terrorism for all you people who just called up the Department of Homeland Security. By the way, did Napolitano answer?? I was told she was answering the phones directly now in a PR move.


As I mentioned last time, I've been stealing a lot more numbers out of peoples' phones. This is especially beneficial later on when I find myself in the presence of someone I don't know hardly at all, and whose number I now have. I text him/her saying something like,"The man behind you in the red shirt cannot be trusted, stop talking to him," or, "Double cheeseburger?? What were you thinking?!" Even more enjoyable is taking a close-up picture of the subject and then texting it to them.


Eric M.'s bachelor party was this past weekend. Started with a bunch of wings at Native New Yorker. Great to see everyone. This crew is seldom assembled these days. After eating, special gifts were given by the clueless and words of wisdom were offered by the experienced few. The clueless are becoming fewer & fewer.

Of course, no bachelor party is complete without:


YOU GUESSED IT! Wayne Gretzky's NHL 3D Hockey ('98) for N64
"Masters on Ice"

If you know, you know.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE when I am offered unsolicited dating advice by married friends. And almost-married friends for that matter. I revel in their tactical brilliance.